Post by thadden on Dec 16, 2013 0:43:18 GMT -5
(( Link to the google doc provided by Seleste! Text is bolded and color coordinated here! tinyurl.com/Seletherapy))
[Seleste]: She walks into the room, a slight hint of frustration in the air as she stood at the door. Her eyes glanced from each side of the room then to the man in the center.
[Thadden]: Thadden looks over to Seleste as she enters the room, and lifts a hand to beckon her into it. "Ah, Misses Felsorrow. It is a pleasure to finally meet you face to... erm... face." He blinks, before pointing to the chair against the wall. "Please have a seat. This won't take long, I promise."
[Seleste]: "Won't take long? I have no reason to be here..." She looked over at the chair and made her way to it before sitting down.
[Thadden]: He reached down to his own chair, pulling it out from underneath his desk and turning it around to face Seleste, before sitting down in it. "Surely you do. You said you had nothing to be angry about. But everyone has something that angers them, even slightly. I assure you there is no one else that can hear us. What is it that troubles you?" The sound of the regular piped music that played during all of his sessions could be heard playing softly from the recorder in the corner of the room.
[Seleste]: She peered over at the music that was playing. In a way it was somewhat eerie, as it contrasted with the rotted wood and aged interior of the room along with rest of Brill all together. Her gaze was turned back to Thadden as he began talking. "Troubles me? You have to be a bit more specific as I have several tasks that can be bothersome if they are not fixed."
[Thadden]: He nods slowly. "I see." He proceeds to write something down in his notepad already, despite the fact that they had not really talked about anything yet. "What is it that troubles you the -most-?""What is it that actually angers you even -slightly- when you spare a mere single thought about it?"
[Seleste]: She tilted her head back to peer at the man over her nose. "You speak of anger a great deal. I have nothing that angers me any longer really. Most of my troubles have seemed to fade..."
[Thadden]: He lofts a brow, looking up at her curiously. "Fade? What do you mean?"
[Seleste]: She sighed deeply before speaking again. "This is just between you and me, right? As in no one else will ever hear about this?"
[Thadden]: He nods slowly. "Of course, Misses Felsorrow. It is required in the code of doctor-to-patient confidentiality that I do not inform anyone else of the details of our sessions unless they ask me to."
[Seleste]: She took a minute to think a few things over. "I see. I do not have any problem. So this is a waste of time."
[Thadden]: He grows quiet for a short period of time, finally responding after a half minute or so. "How about we start over from the beginning, then. What is your full name?"
[Seleste]: "Seleste Felsorrow."
[Thadden]: "I can assume that is the name you go by now because of your marriage to your husband. If it is not rude of me to ask, what was your maiden name?"
[Seleste]: "Do you mean first maiden name? Or one during undeath?"
[Thadden]: "Oh? You chose another name after undeath?... How about both? Do you feel comfortable telling me both of your names?"
[Seleste]: "In life I was called Lindeyvia Willowsong. I was named after my great grandmother who was a priestess. In undeath, I chose Seleste Shatterheart. Do not be fooled, the surname was not to display what I could do to men...those some assumed that is what it meant. It actually portrayed how I felt after I was raised."
[Thadden]: He tilted his head to the side as he thought for a moment. "After you were raised? Your heart was, metaphorically and emotionally shattered then?"
[Seleste]: She looked down at her hands as they were placed on her legs within her lap. "Yes..."
[Thadden]: He leans forward a bit, proceeding to write something down in his notepad. "Let's talk about that then. What happened to you that made you want to choose such an emotional surname?"
Seleste]: Her eyes shifted to him for a moment. She paused before speaking again. "When I was alive, I was told I had to marry this soldier of the war. He was very kind. Very handsome. But he and I never had anything in common. His father was a senator on the
board of Silvermoon politicals. My father was a close friend of Octavious...who was my fiance's father. They both agreed to force their oldest into marriage so both families would be joined by blood in the future. It was like some sort of best friend
forever pact by making their offspring produce bromance elves." She rolled her eyes at the thought.
[Thadden]: Thadden nods again, continuing to write as he asked another question. "So you are of elven heritage?" He of course, knew this already, but he could not mention the fact that he was aware of it from Sibelius' sessions.
[Seleste]: "Yes I am."
[Thadden]: "Continue. What happened after you were forced into that courtship?"
[Seleste]: "I tried to do what my father wanted. I always wished to be approved by my father, but he hardly ever had time for me or my sister. We were often taken care of by our house servants. I honestly didn't care for the money. I just wanted my parents to pay
attention to us and raise us, not some people who were paid to smile and pretend to like serving us."
[Thadden]: "I can assume you grew attached to the house servants, then?"
[Seleste]: "Well there were two that I did become attached to. There was a human servant from Westfall named Thomas Middleton. He was was forced into slavery and was -bought- by my parents. Can you believe that? Humans being sold for labor. I hated the idea of it. But he would tell me about his beautiful wife named Gloria that lived back home and how much he missed her. Why a servant would tell a child this, I do not know. But I was so moved by it I told my father I wanted her specifically. If I was not able to
free them, then I could at least damn them together."
[Thadden]: "I see. Did you ever get what you wanted?"
[Seleste]: "Yes. They seemed happy together and eventually got over them being slaves. In fact they become quite close to me and my sister. I think she and I pretended they were our parents to fill in the gap we were missing.”
[Thadden]: He nods, writing this down, and continuing. "This is the second time you've mentioned your sister. Were you close with her?"
[Seleste]: "I was. Since I was the oldest, I had to teach her how to act. She was quite wild and would do anything to get attention. Even act out if it meant people would pay attention to her. We both wanted our parents very much."
[Thadden]: "An attention which they could not, for some reason grant you. Why is that? Was it merely the fact that they were busy? Or was it neglect?"
[Seleste]: "It was a bit of both. My family used children as a status. The better trained in the art of Light and well behaved, the better. I was being trained to be a priestess. And she was an archer for the Light. We became very good at it, and to a point almost
forgot ourselves in between the constant lessons and being told what we should be, not who we really were. But every time I saw Ulthar I was reminded of what I did not want in life. His brother however was a different story."
[Thadden]: "Ulthar? You have not mentioned any of them by name. Who was Ulthar?"
[Seleste]: "Ulthar was my fiance. Everyone was so proud of him and he knew it. I was not so impressed by him though, nor was his brother."
[Thadden]: He lifted his brow again at this. "And his brother? By the way you just worded it, you seemed to like him better."
[Seleste]: "Well I thought I did. His brother did not follow the rules by their family. The Hallowsuns...Ulthar's family were just as mine. Light users that thought they were better than everyone else that used magic. Daelenor was never able to use the Light and that devistated him very much. In the eyes of his father, he seemed like a waste of noble blood and was constantly reminded of that. So he strayed his path and secretly practiced fel magic. He would often spend time with me when I was lonely, and even told me he had a crush on me. At the time I believed it...but it was all a hoax."
[Thadden]: "A hoax?" He asked rather simply, a hint of curiousity entering his tone.
[Seleste]: "Yes. He pretended to be interested in me so I would ignore my engagement to Ulthar. Ulthar and I never even had a date...or even spent time alone. It was all organized through paper as it was. We were engaged for about two years and nothing happened. So I was drawn to Daelenor instantly. He told me what I wanted to hear and I fed into it. For the first time I felt like I could truly be happy, and he swore he would marry me and we would have as many children as I wanted. That was truly all I ever wanted
to be honest. I wanted a family that lived outside of the city full of politics and "Light" enthusiasts. I even had names picked out for all of the children I wanted. I wanted five. That may seem like a great deal, but elves live a lot longer."
[Thadden]: He nodded once again at this. "What happened?"Thadden asks calmly, proceeding to write some things down in his notepad.
[Seleste]: "I agreed to give myself to him and only him. After a few weeks I knew something was different. I was with child and I was nervous, but at the same time deeply pleased as I was finally getting the family I wanted. When I told Daelenor of the news, he said he was going to inform his father of it and tell him we were going to be together no matter what. Well it turns out...that isn't what he did at all."
[Thadden]: "Go on."
[Seleste]: "A few long hours went by and then suddenly Daelenor returns with his father and mine. They did not have an expression of joy at all on their faces. It turns out, Daelenor told them I caught running around on Ulthar, and had the child of a random anybody
in my stomach. They were hesitant to believe that but when examined by a doctor they believed him. The child was removed, I was exiled from Silvermoon and denounced from the engagement -and- my family. I was forced to give up my name as a Willowsong."
[Thadden]: He frowns at hearing this, before shaking his head. "That is quite the story, Misses Felsorrow. Or would you prefer I call you Seleste?" He paused, waiting for her to answer before he gave his thoughts on all she just told him.
[Seleste]: "Either does not matter."
[Thadden]: "Very well. At any rate, I can assume you hold some resentment for both of the families, am I right? When was the last time you saw any of them?"
[Seleste]: "I do not hold resentment myself. But my husband does. And the last I saw them? Was honestly when Ivan took it in his own hands to take care of them...I begged him not to. But he would not have it any other way."
Thadden]: He blinks a few times at this. "He... 'took care' of them? By the way you word that, it does not sound like he politely told them what he thought of them."
[Seleste]: "He never told me what he did...but judging from him I assume it was ill mannered."
[Thadden]: "I see. So they are all gone now? You said that you begged him not to 'take care of them'. Does it upset you that they are no longer with us?"
[Seleste]: "Well I do not believe the entire family deserved to suffer. It was not everyone's fault after all."
[Thadden]: "Did he do this to both families? Or just the Hallowsuns?"
[Seleste]: "I do not know if he did anything to the Willowsongs. Just the Hallowsuns."
[Thadden]: "I see. That story is why your post-mortem maiden name was chosen?"
[Seleste]: "Yes. That is the reason I chose Shatterheart after words."
[Thadden]: "Alright. I'd like to shift to another topic then, if you don't mind."
[Seleste]: "Of course."
[Thadden]: "I am not really allowed to go into detail due to confidentiality purposes, but all of your members whom have had sessions so far always seem to speak about one person in particular. Do you have any guesses as to who that may be?"
[Seleste]: She looked down at her hands again as they were placed in her lap. "Ivan..."
[Thadden]: Thadden nods slowly, though she could not see it due to looking down. "What do you think of Ivan? From what you have said, it seems he went to a long length to erase the issue that he assumed was bothering you. I can assume that he cares about you from that alone, if it weren't for my sessions with him confirming how highly he thinks of you. It is true that Ivan was once a shy fellow?
[Seleste]: She sighed softly and nodded her head. "Yes, he was very shy."
[Thadden]: He tilts his head to the side, preparing to write again. "Do you remember the day you met him? Can you go into detail about that for me?"
[Seleste]: It took her a moment to respond. Slowly her words began to come out over her half hidden lips. "I was in the Undercity and his current boss at the time requested that I do an operation on a soldier of his. Ivan happened to be in the company of this person, standing far away from a distance. I noticed him right off..." A smile seemed to form on her lips as she was forced to speak of the memory out loud. "He was so shy and kind. New to the world of undeath and was afraid of everything. It was very alluring..." She paused for a moment. "He watched as I did the operation on the female soldier, standing at the edge of the table with his boss. After then I started noticing him in the city more and more and we eventually would talk. Well it was mostly me, as he would just fumble over his words." She actually let out a soft giggle at this image.
[Thadden]: He nods, proceeding to write as she began to tell the story. "This was quite some time ago. How go was it exactly? Do you remember?"
[Seleste]: "I would say about three and a half years."
[Thadden]: "Can you recall what you found 'alluring' about his personality? What drew you to him exactly?"
[Seleste]: "It was everything about him honestly. Even though he was undead, he was not full of hate like everyone else was. He just accepted it and there was a poetic air about him. The way he wheezed when I would say his name made me feel wanted. Not like some cheap means to ruin a family affair. He truly wanted to be around me, and that was something I wanted my entire life. From my parents. From Ulthar. From Daelenor even and here was this shy man that thought I was the most beautiful thing in the entire
world."
[Thadden]: "Naturally, you were drawn to this because of your past issues. I am surprised at your wording however. You thought so highly of him because you knew he desired you?"
[Seleste]: "Yes. He didn't care about my imperfections. All he ever tried to do was make me feel special. It was as if he secretly knew about what I went through somehow..and was there to say "I am here to make up for everything, so it's okay."
[Thadden]: He nods again at this. "Let us get back to after you met. What happened?"
[Seleste]: "After we met, we spent every moment together. In fact it was never enough so he wanted to become a doctor so we could spend -more- time together. He was good at it too, probably because he was already a tailor."
[Thadden]: "I see." He spoke while looking down to write in his notebook again as she began.
[Seleste]: "I saw great potential in him after that. Our organization needed a skilled person with his steady hands...and his insight for perfection. However things started to change. We were not the sweet and happy pair we started out as."
[Thadden]: "Things did not continue this way? From our sessions together, he seems to put you atop a pedestal far above everyone else."
[Seleste]: "Yes, that part of him still remains but it is much different now."
[Thadden]: "Go on. Tell me about it."
[Seleste]: "The first time I saw a change was when Ulthar had shpwn up, causing trouble as he wanted me. He did not know I was undead and wished to get rid of the "evil" that tainted me. When I say want, I do not mean in a ownership sense. I mean wanted to torture me as he believed I really did betray him. Well Ivan's former boss somehow managed to find Ulthar, and that group of Forsaken tortured him out in a pumpkin patch. Ivan...was never the same after that. He was in on the torture and started talking differently after that. He would have mood swings. Even talk to himself and swear out loud.”
[Thadden]: "How long was this after you two had met?"
[Seleste]: "It was about a couple of months."
[Thadden]: "So it was after you were romantically involved with him for some duration."
[Seleste]: "Yes. I think when he discovered that the people who in turn caused me to end up this way were around...he somewhat snapped a little."
[Thadden]: "What were the changes like? Can you tell me what they were like at the very start? And how did they gradually get worse?"
[Seleste]: "I remember this one conversation we had with Ulthar in the graveyard next to this town. He had told Ivan that there was nothing he could do to save me, and that every moment I was going to suffer, he would be sure to tell Ivan about it. It turned out a
few days later while I was held captive by Ulthar that he did. He told Ivan that I started to cry out for him after the abuse from the light being used on me. It did not have a positive effect on him."
[Thadden]: "For Ivan, you did?"
[Seleste]: "Yes. I was not very strong then, and I was quite weak and very sensitive. I wanted nothing more than for him to come and save me from the Hallowsuns”
[Thadden]: "Hmm. Is it possible that the reason that he took it upon himself to 'get rid' of them moreso because of the guilt he felt upon realizing he was unable to save you that night?"
[Seleste]: "I think he felt responsible somewhat. Because there was a bit of a "trade off". Sort of..."give her to us and we won't kill her." sort of thing. Ivan did not know what to do, and he even offered himself but they did not want anything of it."
[Thadden]: "What happened, then?"
[Seleste]: "Well like I said, Ulthar was taken by Silas...who was Ivan's boss at the time. They had that torture party in the pumpkin patch and it was as if Ivan was starting to see the world differently. He didn't trust people as much as he did, and he started
talking differently. I felt as if this was my fault somehow, as if he did not ever meet me, he would have never of met the Hallowsuns."
[Thadden]: He shook his head from side to side. "That right there is a problem area. It is not your fault that he met the people connected to you. If anything, I can agree with you that they are the ones who caused this change to spur in him."
[Seleste]: "Well not entirely. I was not aware of it at the time, but such an innocent person being exposed to the grim nature of being a doctor helped too. Dealing with death and decay day in and day out, it is quite depressing. He slowly started slipping away, becoming more attached to working as a doctor and spending hours with cadavers. It was as if everything all together was forcing the Ivan I fell in love with to hide himself away so this other person could come out."
[Thadden]: He tilted his head to the side after looking up at her again. "And that is the reason you sent him to me. To see if we can get the 'old Ivan' to return? Do you miss him more than you enjoy this new personality he has?"
[Seleste]: "Well not exactly to fix him. Do not let anyone know this...but I love my husband dearly. More than anything else. I'd give up my profession if I had to make a choice. I'd even give up my religion if that was a requirement as well. I asked you to come here because of his -anger-. His anger is out of control and he is so hateful to everyone. But that is mainly because he lost trust in people. He was walked all over many times by people and it has hardened him along with his job that I -trained- him
for. Then there is the issue we have with the political agenda. The living are disgusted by us so we had an arranged marriage. They hate the idea that we have "feelings" like they do, but are afraid of us for the assumption that we do not. Not to mention as the lead of this organization...I have to pretend I am hard." She lifted her gaze, looking at the man across from her. Her frown was seen beneath her mask. "I hate pretending to be so hard and sometimes it shows. But a leader can not be sensitive after all...and displaying my care for Ivan in public is a weakness."
[Thadden]: He questions her again, shifting himself to get more comfortable in his seat as he folded his palms together in his lap. "And I assume this upsets him? That you can not hold public displays of affection?"
[Seleste]: "Yes. He does get upset but we continue something we did since the beginning. Back when we were in the awe of a new relationship we would give each other Stratholme lilies. It was like a private token of affection until a deathstalker named Gleneth pointed out that we -both- happened to have one on us, at all times. It has become a trademark for us to give each other one everyday since then, and we have been married for almost three years."
[Thadden]: "So in privacy, you do continue to express how much you care for one another."
[Seleste]: "Yes, of course."
[Thadden]: "I see. I believe it is time for us to close as unfortunate as that may be, as I believe we have a lot more to talk about, Misses Felsorrow. However before you go, I'd like to do a small test."
[Seleste]: "Alright..."
[Thadden]: "I am going to say a word, and I want you to say the first thing that comes to mind."
[Seleste]: She nodded her head slowly.
[Thadden]: "Flower."
[Seleste]: "Purple."
[Thadden]: He pauses in thought, before lifting his arms and folding his hands in front of his chest instead of on his lap. "Water."
[Seleste]: "Drowning."
[Thadden]: "Dance."
[Seleste]: "Moonlight."
[Thadden]: "Happy."
[Seleste]: "Family."
[Thadden]: "Bitter."
[Seleste]: "Acid."
[Thadden]: He pauses once more, before shifting in his seat again, now starting to speak a few relevant words. "Anger."
[Seleste]: "Ivan."
[Thadden]:Thadden tilted his head to the side at this, before repeating the same word. "Ivan."
[Seleste]: “Warlock.”
[Thadden]: Thadden nods again. "Safety."
[Seleste]: "Shadows."
[Thadden]: Thadden stands up and writes something down again in his notebook, before flipping it closed. "Thank you for coming out to see me, Misses Felsorrow. From what I have heard from you, you have not had the best of lives and it is a great wonder that you are as delightful a person to talk to as you are. People who have been in shoes similar to yours rarely turn out like yourself, and usually come packed more along the lines of what your husband is like now. I will say this, however. I think you are right in that you took solice in Ivan after your experience at the hands of the Hallowsuns and your own family. I think that you still want more than anything a family, and if it weren't for the fact that you are dead, you'd want one -with- Ivan. I think that this troubles you greatly, but you do not say it. I will want to have another session with you in the future so that we may further discuss things, because quite honestly I think there is a lot to talk about with you. In addition, I want to have a group therapy session with you and Ivan sometime in the future, preferrably sometime very soon. I do hope he already made you aware of this."
[Seleste]: She looked up to him blankly, not really sure she just heard everything she did. It surprised her with some of the truths he was able to uncover just by one session alone. "Alright..." She stood up slowly. "Are we finished then?"
[Thadden]: He nods quickly. "Yes, we are. In addition, I believe you will play a pivotal part in Ivan's anger management. I encourage you not to give up on him, as I have come to the conclusion that you can give him far more support than anyone else in his life."
[Seleste]: "Right..." She scoffed at that idea as she made her way out of the office.
[Seleste]: She walks into the room, a slight hint of frustration in the air as she stood at the door. Her eyes glanced from each side of the room then to the man in the center.
[Thadden]: Thadden looks over to Seleste as she enters the room, and lifts a hand to beckon her into it. "Ah, Misses Felsorrow. It is a pleasure to finally meet you face to... erm... face." He blinks, before pointing to the chair against the wall. "Please have a seat. This won't take long, I promise."
[Seleste]: "Won't take long? I have no reason to be here..." She looked over at the chair and made her way to it before sitting down.
[Thadden]: He reached down to his own chair, pulling it out from underneath his desk and turning it around to face Seleste, before sitting down in it. "Surely you do. You said you had nothing to be angry about. But everyone has something that angers them, even slightly. I assure you there is no one else that can hear us. What is it that troubles you?" The sound of the regular piped music that played during all of his sessions could be heard playing softly from the recorder in the corner of the room.
[Seleste]: She peered over at the music that was playing. In a way it was somewhat eerie, as it contrasted with the rotted wood and aged interior of the room along with rest of Brill all together. Her gaze was turned back to Thadden as he began talking. "Troubles me? You have to be a bit more specific as I have several tasks that can be bothersome if they are not fixed."
[Thadden]: He nods slowly. "I see." He proceeds to write something down in his notepad already, despite the fact that they had not really talked about anything yet. "What is it that troubles you the -most-?""What is it that actually angers you even -slightly- when you spare a mere single thought about it?"
[Seleste]: She tilted her head back to peer at the man over her nose. "You speak of anger a great deal. I have nothing that angers me any longer really. Most of my troubles have seemed to fade..."
[Thadden]: He lofts a brow, looking up at her curiously. "Fade? What do you mean?"
[Seleste]: She sighed deeply before speaking again. "This is just between you and me, right? As in no one else will ever hear about this?"
[Thadden]: He nods slowly. "Of course, Misses Felsorrow. It is required in the code of doctor-to-patient confidentiality that I do not inform anyone else of the details of our sessions unless they ask me to."
[Seleste]: She took a minute to think a few things over. "I see. I do not have any problem. So this is a waste of time."
[Thadden]: He grows quiet for a short period of time, finally responding after a half minute or so. "How about we start over from the beginning, then. What is your full name?"
[Seleste]: "Seleste Felsorrow."
[Thadden]: "I can assume that is the name you go by now because of your marriage to your husband. If it is not rude of me to ask, what was your maiden name?"
[Seleste]: "Do you mean first maiden name? Or one during undeath?"
[Thadden]: "Oh? You chose another name after undeath?... How about both? Do you feel comfortable telling me both of your names?"
[Seleste]: "In life I was called Lindeyvia Willowsong. I was named after my great grandmother who was a priestess. In undeath, I chose Seleste Shatterheart. Do not be fooled, the surname was not to display what I could do to men...those some assumed that is what it meant. It actually portrayed how I felt after I was raised."
[Thadden]: He tilted his head to the side as he thought for a moment. "After you were raised? Your heart was, metaphorically and emotionally shattered then?"
[Seleste]: She looked down at her hands as they were placed on her legs within her lap. "Yes..."
[Thadden]: He leans forward a bit, proceeding to write something down in his notepad. "Let's talk about that then. What happened to you that made you want to choose such an emotional surname?"
Seleste]: Her eyes shifted to him for a moment. She paused before speaking again. "When I was alive, I was told I had to marry this soldier of the war. He was very kind. Very handsome. But he and I never had anything in common. His father was a senator on the
board of Silvermoon politicals. My father was a close friend of Octavious...who was my fiance's father. They both agreed to force their oldest into marriage so both families would be joined by blood in the future. It was like some sort of best friend
forever pact by making their offspring produce bromance elves." She rolled her eyes at the thought.
[Thadden]: Thadden nods again, continuing to write as he asked another question. "So you are of elven heritage?" He of course, knew this already, but he could not mention the fact that he was aware of it from Sibelius' sessions.
[Seleste]: "Yes I am."
[Thadden]: "Continue. What happened after you were forced into that courtship?"
[Seleste]: "I tried to do what my father wanted. I always wished to be approved by my father, but he hardly ever had time for me or my sister. We were often taken care of by our house servants. I honestly didn't care for the money. I just wanted my parents to pay
attention to us and raise us, not some people who were paid to smile and pretend to like serving us."
[Thadden]: "I can assume you grew attached to the house servants, then?"
[Seleste]: "Well there were two that I did become attached to. There was a human servant from Westfall named Thomas Middleton. He was was forced into slavery and was -bought- by my parents. Can you believe that? Humans being sold for labor. I hated the idea of it. But he would tell me about his beautiful wife named Gloria that lived back home and how much he missed her. Why a servant would tell a child this, I do not know. But I was so moved by it I told my father I wanted her specifically. If I was not able to
free them, then I could at least damn them together."
[Thadden]: "I see. Did you ever get what you wanted?"
[Seleste]: "Yes. They seemed happy together and eventually got over them being slaves. In fact they become quite close to me and my sister. I think she and I pretended they were our parents to fill in the gap we were missing.”
[Thadden]: He nods, writing this down, and continuing. "This is the second time you've mentioned your sister. Were you close with her?"
[Seleste]: "I was. Since I was the oldest, I had to teach her how to act. She was quite wild and would do anything to get attention. Even act out if it meant people would pay attention to her. We both wanted our parents very much."
[Thadden]: "An attention which they could not, for some reason grant you. Why is that? Was it merely the fact that they were busy? Or was it neglect?"
[Seleste]: "It was a bit of both. My family used children as a status. The better trained in the art of Light and well behaved, the better. I was being trained to be a priestess. And she was an archer for the Light. We became very good at it, and to a point almost
forgot ourselves in between the constant lessons and being told what we should be, not who we really were. But every time I saw Ulthar I was reminded of what I did not want in life. His brother however was a different story."
[Thadden]: "Ulthar? You have not mentioned any of them by name. Who was Ulthar?"
[Seleste]: "Ulthar was my fiance. Everyone was so proud of him and he knew it. I was not so impressed by him though, nor was his brother."
[Thadden]: He lifted his brow again at this. "And his brother? By the way you just worded it, you seemed to like him better."
[Seleste]: "Well I thought I did. His brother did not follow the rules by their family. The Hallowsuns...Ulthar's family were just as mine. Light users that thought they were better than everyone else that used magic. Daelenor was never able to use the Light and that devistated him very much. In the eyes of his father, he seemed like a waste of noble blood and was constantly reminded of that. So he strayed his path and secretly practiced fel magic. He would often spend time with me when I was lonely, and even told me he had a crush on me. At the time I believed it...but it was all a hoax."
[Thadden]: "A hoax?" He asked rather simply, a hint of curiousity entering his tone.
[Seleste]: "Yes. He pretended to be interested in me so I would ignore my engagement to Ulthar. Ulthar and I never even had a date...or even spent time alone. It was all organized through paper as it was. We were engaged for about two years and nothing happened. So I was drawn to Daelenor instantly. He told me what I wanted to hear and I fed into it. For the first time I felt like I could truly be happy, and he swore he would marry me and we would have as many children as I wanted. That was truly all I ever wanted
to be honest. I wanted a family that lived outside of the city full of politics and "Light" enthusiasts. I even had names picked out for all of the children I wanted. I wanted five. That may seem like a great deal, but elves live a lot longer."
[Thadden]: He nodded once again at this. "What happened?"Thadden asks calmly, proceeding to write some things down in his notepad.
[Seleste]: "I agreed to give myself to him and only him. After a few weeks I knew something was different. I was with child and I was nervous, but at the same time deeply pleased as I was finally getting the family I wanted. When I told Daelenor of the news, he said he was going to inform his father of it and tell him we were going to be together no matter what. Well it turns out...that isn't what he did at all."
[Thadden]: "Go on."
[Seleste]: "A few long hours went by and then suddenly Daelenor returns with his father and mine. They did not have an expression of joy at all on their faces. It turns out, Daelenor told them I caught running around on Ulthar, and had the child of a random anybody
in my stomach. They were hesitant to believe that but when examined by a doctor they believed him. The child was removed, I was exiled from Silvermoon and denounced from the engagement -and- my family. I was forced to give up my name as a Willowsong."
[Thadden]: He frowns at hearing this, before shaking his head. "That is quite the story, Misses Felsorrow. Or would you prefer I call you Seleste?" He paused, waiting for her to answer before he gave his thoughts on all she just told him.
[Seleste]: "Either does not matter."
[Thadden]: "Very well. At any rate, I can assume you hold some resentment for both of the families, am I right? When was the last time you saw any of them?"
[Seleste]: "I do not hold resentment myself. But my husband does. And the last I saw them? Was honestly when Ivan took it in his own hands to take care of them...I begged him not to. But he would not have it any other way."
Thadden]: He blinks a few times at this. "He... 'took care' of them? By the way you word that, it does not sound like he politely told them what he thought of them."
[Seleste]: "He never told me what he did...but judging from him I assume it was ill mannered."
[Thadden]: "I see. So they are all gone now? You said that you begged him not to 'take care of them'. Does it upset you that they are no longer with us?"
[Seleste]: "Well I do not believe the entire family deserved to suffer. It was not everyone's fault after all."
[Thadden]: "Did he do this to both families? Or just the Hallowsuns?"
[Seleste]: "I do not know if he did anything to the Willowsongs. Just the Hallowsuns."
[Thadden]: "I see. That story is why your post-mortem maiden name was chosen?"
[Seleste]: "Yes. That is the reason I chose Shatterheart after words."
[Thadden]: "Alright. I'd like to shift to another topic then, if you don't mind."
[Seleste]: "Of course."
[Thadden]: "I am not really allowed to go into detail due to confidentiality purposes, but all of your members whom have had sessions so far always seem to speak about one person in particular. Do you have any guesses as to who that may be?"
[Seleste]: She looked down at her hands again as they were placed in her lap. "Ivan..."
[Thadden]: Thadden nods slowly, though she could not see it due to looking down. "What do you think of Ivan? From what you have said, it seems he went to a long length to erase the issue that he assumed was bothering you. I can assume that he cares about you from that alone, if it weren't for my sessions with him confirming how highly he thinks of you. It is true that Ivan was once a shy fellow?
[Seleste]: She sighed softly and nodded her head. "Yes, he was very shy."
[Thadden]: He tilts his head to the side, preparing to write again. "Do you remember the day you met him? Can you go into detail about that for me?"
[Seleste]: It took her a moment to respond. Slowly her words began to come out over her half hidden lips. "I was in the Undercity and his current boss at the time requested that I do an operation on a soldier of his. Ivan happened to be in the company of this person, standing far away from a distance. I noticed him right off..." A smile seemed to form on her lips as she was forced to speak of the memory out loud. "He was so shy and kind. New to the world of undeath and was afraid of everything. It was very alluring..." She paused for a moment. "He watched as I did the operation on the female soldier, standing at the edge of the table with his boss. After then I started noticing him in the city more and more and we eventually would talk. Well it was mostly me, as he would just fumble over his words." She actually let out a soft giggle at this image.
[Thadden]: He nods, proceeding to write as she began to tell the story. "This was quite some time ago. How go was it exactly? Do you remember?"
[Seleste]: "I would say about three and a half years."
[Thadden]: "Can you recall what you found 'alluring' about his personality? What drew you to him exactly?"
[Seleste]: "It was everything about him honestly. Even though he was undead, he was not full of hate like everyone else was. He just accepted it and there was a poetic air about him. The way he wheezed when I would say his name made me feel wanted. Not like some cheap means to ruin a family affair. He truly wanted to be around me, and that was something I wanted my entire life. From my parents. From Ulthar. From Daelenor even and here was this shy man that thought I was the most beautiful thing in the entire
world."
[Thadden]: "Naturally, you were drawn to this because of your past issues. I am surprised at your wording however. You thought so highly of him because you knew he desired you?"
[Seleste]: "Yes. He didn't care about my imperfections. All he ever tried to do was make me feel special. It was as if he secretly knew about what I went through somehow..and was there to say "I am here to make up for everything, so it's okay."
[Thadden]: He nods again at this. "Let us get back to after you met. What happened?"
[Seleste]: "After we met, we spent every moment together. In fact it was never enough so he wanted to become a doctor so we could spend -more- time together. He was good at it too, probably because he was already a tailor."
[Thadden]: "I see." He spoke while looking down to write in his notebook again as she began.
[Seleste]: "I saw great potential in him after that. Our organization needed a skilled person with his steady hands...and his insight for perfection. However things started to change. We were not the sweet and happy pair we started out as."
[Thadden]: "Things did not continue this way? From our sessions together, he seems to put you atop a pedestal far above everyone else."
[Seleste]: "Yes, that part of him still remains but it is much different now."
[Thadden]: "Go on. Tell me about it."
[Seleste]: "The first time I saw a change was when Ulthar had shpwn up, causing trouble as he wanted me. He did not know I was undead and wished to get rid of the "evil" that tainted me. When I say want, I do not mean in a ownership sense. I mean wanted to torture me as he believed I really did betray him. Well Ivan's former boss somehow managed to find Ulthar, and that group of Forsaken tortured him out in a pumpkin patch. Ivan...was never the same after that. He was in on the torture and started talking differently after that. He would have mood swings. Even talk to himself and swear out loud.”
[Thadden]: "How long was this after you two had met?"
[Seleste]: "It was about a couple of months."
[Thadden]: "So it was after you were romantically involved with him for some duration."
[Seleste]: "Yes. I think when he discovered that the people who in turn caused me to end up this way were around...he somewhat snapped a little."
[Thadden]: "What were the changes like? Can you tell me what they were like at the very start? And how did they gradually get worse?"
[Seleste]: "I remember this one conversation we had with Ulthar in the graveyard next to this town. He had told Ivan that there was nothing he could do to save me, and that every moment I was going to suffer, he would be sure to tell Ivan about it. It turned out a
few days later while I was held captive by Ulthar that he did. He told Ivan that I started to cry out for him after the abuse from the light being used on me. It did not have a positive effect on him."
[Thadden]: "For Ivan, you did?"
[Seleste]: "Yes. I was not very strong then, and I was quite weak and very sensitive. I wanted nothing more than for him to come and save me from the Hallowsuns”
[Thadden]: "Hmm. Is it possible that the reason that he took it upon himself to 'get rid' of them moreso because of the guilt he felt upon realizing he was unable to save you that night?"
[Seleste]: "I think he felt responsible somewhat. Because there was a bit of a "trade off". Sort of..."give her to us and we won't kill her." sort of thing. Ivan did not know what to do, and he even offered himself but they did not want anything of it."
[Thadden]: "What happened, then?"
[Seleste]: "Well like I said, Ulthar was taken by Silas...who was Ivan's boss at the time. They had that torture party in the pumpkin patch and it was as if Ivan was starting to see the world differently. He didn't trust people as much as he did, and he started
talking differently. I felt as if this was my fault somehow, as if he did not ever meet me, he would have never of met the Hallowsuns."
[Thadden]: He shook his head from side to side. "That right there is a problem area. It is not your fault that he met the people connected to you. If anything, I can agree with you that they are the ones who caused this change to spur in him."
[Seleste]: "Well not entirely. I was not aware of it at the time, but such an innocent person being exposed to the grim nature of being a doctor helped too. Dealing with death and decay day in and day out, it is quite depressing. He slowly started slipping away, becoming more attached to working as a doctor and spending hours with cadavers. It was as if everything all together was forcing the Ivan I fell in love with to hide himself away so this other person could come out."
[Thadden]: He tilted his head to the side after looking up at her again. "And that is the reason you sent him to me. To see if we can get the 'old Ivan' to return? Do you miss him more than you enjoy this new personality he has?"
[Seleste]: "Well not exactly to fix him. Do not let anyone know this...but I love my husband dearly. More than anything else. I'd give up my profession if I had to make a choice. I'd even give up my religion if that was a requirement as well. I asked you to come here because of his -anger-. His anger is out of control and he is so hateful to everyone. But that is mainly because he lost trust in people. He was walked all over many times by people and it has hardened him along with his job that I -trained- him
for. Then there is the issue we have with the political agenda. The living are disgusted by us so we had an arranged marriage. They hate the idea that we have "feelings" like they do, but are afraid of us for the assumption that we do not. Not to mention as the lead of this organization...I have to pretend I am hard." She lifted her gaze, looking at the man across from her. Her frown was seen beneath her mask. "I hate pretending to be so hard and sometimes it shows. But a leader can not be sensitive after all...and displaying my care for Ivan in public is a weakness."
[Thadden]: He questions her again, shifting himself to get more comfortable in his seat as he folded his palms together in his lap. "And I assume this upsets him? That you can not hold public displays of affection?"
[Seleste]: "Yes. He does get upset but we continue something we did since the beginning. Back when we were in the awe of a new relationship we would give each other Stratholme lilies. It was like a private token of affection until a deathstalker named Gleneth pointed out that we -both- happened to have one on us, at all times. It has become a trademark for us to give each other one everyday since then, and we have been married for almost three years."
[Thadden]: "So in privacy, you do continue to express how much you care for one another."
[Seleste]: "Yes, of course."
[Thadden]: "I see. I believe it is time for us to close as unfortunate as that may be, as I believe we have a lot more to talk about, Misses Felsorrow. However before you go, I'd like to do a small test."
[Seleste]: "Alright..."
[Thadden]: "I am going to say a word, and I want you to say the first thing that comes to mind."
[Seleste]: She nodded her head slowly.
[Thadden]: "Flower."
[Seleste]: "Purple."
[Thadden]: He pauses in thought, before lifting his arms and folding his hands in front of his chest instead of on his lap. "Water."
[Seleste]: "Drowning."
[Thadden]: "Dance."
[Seleste]: "Moonlight."
[Thadden]: "Happy."
[Seleste]: "Family."
[Thadden]: "Bitter."
[Seleste]: "Acid."
[Thadden]: He pauses once more, before shifting in his seat again, now starting to speak a few relevant words. "Anger."
[Seleste]: "Ivan."
[Thadden]:Thadden tilted his head to the side at this, before repeating the same word. "Ivan."
[Seleste]: “Warlock.”
[Thadden]: Thadden nods again. "Safety."
[Seleste]: "Shadows."
[Thadden]: Thadden stands up and writes something down again in his notebook, before flipping it closed. "Thank you for coming out to see me, Misses Felsorrow. From what I have heard from you, you have not had the best of lives and it is a great wonder that you are as delightful a person to talk to as you are. People who have been in shoes similar to yours rarely turn out like yourself, and usually come packed more along the lines of what your husband is like now. I will say this, however. I think you are right in that you took solice in Ivan after your experience at the hands of the Hallowsuns and your own family. I think that you still want more than anything a family, and if it weren't for the fact that you are dead, you'd want one -with- Ivan. I think that this troubles you greatly, but you do not say it. I will want to have another session with you in the future so that we may further discuss things, because quite honestly I think there is a lot to talk about with you. In addition, I want to have a group therapy session with you and Ivan sometime in the future, preferrably sometime very soon. I do hope he already made you aware of this."
[Seleste]: She looked up to him blankly, not really sure she just heard everything she did. It surprised her with some of the truths he was able to uncover just by one session alone. "Alright..." She stood up slowly. "Are we finished then?"
[Thadden]: He nods quickly. "Yes, we are. In addition, I believe you will play a pivotal part in Ivan's anger management. I encourage you not to give up on him, as I have come to the conclusion that you can give him far more support than anyone else in his life."
[Seleste]: "Right..." She scoffed at that idea as she made her way out of the office.
